Future Faking

Future Faking: Oh… So That’s What We’re Calling It Now?

As a Gen X mom scrolling through Instagram, usually while hiding the "good" chocolate from my kids, I stumbled upon a term that made me nearly choke on my dark chocolate sea salt caramel:

“Future Faking.”

My initial thought was, “Here we go.” Another week, another piece of vocabulary the internet has invented to make me feel like a fossil. First it was 'gaslighting' (which we just called 'lying'), then 'ghosting' (which we called 'getting stood up'), and now this. I assumed it was some new TikTok trend involving VR goggles or crypto.

But I clicked. I read. And about three sentences in, I realized: Oh. We’ve known this guy. We just didn't have a hashtag for him in 1994.

So, What Exactly is Future Faking?

In clinical terms, because apparently, we’re all armchair therapists now—Future Faking is a manipulation tactic often associated with narcissistic personality traits. It’s when someone paints a cinematic, Pinterest-board version of a future together to get what they want right now.

Back in our day, this was just the guy in the oversized flannel shirt who promised he’d take you to Europe once his "grunge band got signed," while he simultaneously forgot your birthday and "lost" his wallet every time the check came.

It sounds like:

• “Once I get this promotion, we’re buying that house with the wraparound porch.”

• “I’m going to leave my wife as soon as the youngest graduates.” (Spoiler: The youngest is 34 now).

• “I see us growing old together on a vineyard in Tuscany.”

• “I’m just doing this grueling 90-hour work week for us, so we can retire at 45.”

The words are like a warm weighted blanket. The vision is intoxicating. But the reality? It’s a literal desert.

Why It Hits Different When You’ve Lived Through the 80s and 90s.

As Gen X moms, we were raised on a steady diet of John Hughes movies and power ballads. We were primed for future faking. We thought "grand gestures" were the gold standard.

But here’s the cold, hard fact: Research shows that people who future fake often do it to gain immediate "narcissistic supply"—aka validation, sex, money, or emotional labor—without any intention of paying the "bill" later.

It’s the emotional equivalent of a Ponzi scheme. They use your hope for tomorrow to fund their comfort today.

The Gen X Reality Check: > If he says he’s taking you to Hawaii but can’t manage to load the dishwasher or remember your Starbucks order after five years... honey, you aren't going to Maui. You’re going to be frustrated in your kitchen forever.

The Red Flag We Wish We Had Seen (Before the Gray Hair)

The most annoying part? Future faking isn’t always a mustache-twirling villain plot. Sometimes it’s just someone who is emotionally stunted. They want the "Idea" of a big life, but they have the follow-through of a toddler in a toy aisle.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned between my 20s and my 50s? Trust patterns, not poetry.

• The "Future" version: “I’m going to be such a great dad, we’ll have four kids and a golden retriever.”

• The "Present" version: He hasn't called his own mother in six months and thinks "babysitting" is something you do for your own children.

Clarity Over "Vibes"

I’m glad the kids gave this a name. It makes it easier to spot. We’re at the age where our time is our most precious commodity—right next to our bladder control and our favorite pair of high-waisted jeans.

We don't have ten years to waste on a "vision" that never materializes. We’ve earned the right to say, "That sounds lovely, Brenda/Doug, but what are you doing on Tuesday?"

If the future sounds like a Grammy-winning ballad but the present feels like a static-filled radio station... that’s Future Faking.

We didn't have the terminology back then, but we definitely have the receipts now. Stay woke (is that still a thing?), stay skeptical, and for the love of God, don't buy the "we're moving to Tuscany" line unless there's a plane ticket on the counter.